Alexandros' Laments
by Lysis
Summary: My poem about Alexandros and the death of Hephaistion.


**_Alexandros' Lament_**

(Elizabeth C. Owens 2005)

I. _**Alexandros' Lament upon the Death of Hephaistion**_

Say you I am bewilderment itself without him?

You speak well friends, for my mind lies troubled and

Grieves as my heart that takes my very wish for breath

Away to where Hephaistion resides.

Seek you Alexandros?

Then do no more, at least not in day's cooling glade

For he has gone to seek the Ferryman.

How could I, his avowed love, who together in our happy

Youth upon Herakles shrine swore fidelity forget him as

He lay abed with still the hand of fever upon his fine brow?

To him I should have clung until I knew him safe and free

From Charon's grasp.

I chastise myself and beg the Furies take my mind for

He has truly taken my Psyche with him; even now it crosses

The Styx with the Ferryman behind him.

My visage, I hide lest he should turn, perhaps thinking

He hears my tears.

As Orpheus I will seek him, but alone, stripped of

Orpheus' harp or the Gods pity to guide me.

Would that I could offer as penance myself in his stead.

I would stay all the days of my life in joyous weeping

Knowing Hephaistion lives still,

Laughs again,

Walks upon the earth,

Seeks Persephone's hand

And sings the battle paean to the God.

Would that I could.

Can you not hear me Gods?

Can you not see inside the writhing of my Soul

As it seeks its way alone without him?

Grant me anguish the rest of my days,

But allow my eyes the smallest glimpse

Of his far shinning face and I will die a happy man.

_**II. In a Dream Alexandros' Meets Hephaistion's Shade**_

For mine eyes entrapped and betrayed me to call out his name.

His Shade, solemn and pallid, yet still the beauty of Apollo

Lay upon him approached me, hands out entreating whereby

Had I wronged him?

"For you came not soon enough," he cried to me.

Despair became my blood and choked my heart and

Grief overtook my vision.

"To my everlasting shame, dearest friend, love,

I sought your Psyche before you could pass to Elysium

But you had surpassed me, leaving me to lie across your

Body hoping my voice would call you back."

He turned and fair he was even as Charon led him from me.

"My friend, Soul's Eros," I entreated, begged and implored,

"Can I not join you?"

My heart, ashen as his Shade, garnered strength

For its final remembrance when he turned back to face me,

And drew upon those lips I knew so well the gentlest of smiles,

"Soon, Alexandros, soon."

III. _**Thanatos Alexandros**_

I rise in confusion to hear the Ferryman nearby.

How did I come to this place?

Lastly do I remember the sound of a great ocean of

Lamentation rising and falling upon my ears.

And saw the temple fires unlit saying with that sign

The God had passed away.

Then a great plague of battle spread about me,

The clash of drawn swords and bitter words broke

From the lips of those who had called one another friend.

I heard the Earth's cries as this fire spread upon the land

And smoked the breath from all my children.

I strove to rise up and gather my arms and aid them,

But some God's arm held me fast as the Earth shook from

Egypt to Babylon to Macedon and Ares encircled the world.

Then all was quiet and I heard the rush and spill of water

Lapping at my feet and smelled the brine of salty cave walls

As I followed to the Ferryman.

My hand shakes before me wan and unadorned

Something is forgot there.

My brow creased with thought, but Athene has taken her gifts

And Lethe's water's surround me.

I feel myself over, am still yet tremble.

My lungs move not yet my feet seek steps toward

A destination and I unknowing of it follow.

Through the rivers of woe, lamentation and fire

Do I pass.

Confusion, consternation my closest companion

Offer no consolation.

No answer is drawn from that dark column of dimmest light

That surroundeth me.

Then presently a little

There came before me a Shade,

A Phantom of great grace and beauty.

I knew him not at first

For I knew not I had perished.

And sought Far-Reaching Apollo

For wisdom to my single discourse.

"Divine Phoebus," I beseeched the God

"Do I sail with the Ferryman?

For methinks I hear his oars strike the

Dark waters of the Styx."

Then the shadowed gaze of the Ferryman caught mine

In answer and I sought of him,

"What awaits me?

Hephaestus forge or Elysium's happy glades?

I feareth no man, but to the Gods I know

I must answer for my deeds."

Then the Shade drew nearer and

Those lovely eyes I knew in some part of me,

But I could not recall to myself his memory.

He stood before me

All the adornments of Adonis

On his shining person.

The jewels of Persephone's casket,

Roses, lilies and sweet hyacinth and

Demeter's gold spun wheat shone upon his hair.

There I did address him,

"Good Phantom,

I curse myself most bitterly

For though my eyes cry out their

Memory, my Soul does not.

Tell me in what land did we meet?

Were we father, brother, lover, friend?

Did I love, betray or slay thee?

Did we spend out days in happiness?

Or did I some grievous wrong of

So great a harm that my Soul

Has been forever denied its sight?"

I implored Apollo again

The gift of memory

That with grey-eyed Athene had fled.

I grew quieter sill

For wandering alone

Along Hades long and high walled gates

I recalled the great and ruined plain of Troy

And its sad-eyed dead.

Did I fall there?

Upon those ancient sands

Slain by some great foe?

Other lands came before me

Dusted in clouds of hidden time

Great battles borne of raging foe

And throngs of men, women, children

Lay dying, weeping

Calling out for lovers, mothers, fathers,

Their children's name, begging for remembrance.

I watched my hands, thrust another man through,

The spear clutched crimson with his life, and

Heard his mother and sister and friends lament

Such misfortune.

I am the most wretched among men.

I knew this carnage mine.

I saw carrion pluck at hearts and limbs,

And saw the valiant dead

stripped like dead trees for firewood

denied their rights, called out to me

for appeasement and prayers.

Mutely I stood punished

I knew this carnage mine.

My head hung heavy upon my breast

And my eyes welled hotly

'Come, Sorrow, speak thy name.

For surely Tartarus is where I am bound.'

Yet still I stood at Hades unhappy gates

And beat my empty breast, confusion

Astir within me.

The Shade spoken gently then,

Reaching out his hand to me.

"Does thou not recall they dream of me?" he cried softly.

Answered, "I remember nothing of before only

The Ferryman's brushing oar through the Styx waters

That spun around as the great riddle in my head does spin

Beguiling me of who I am and who thou be."

The mystery of answer drew upon his lips and

My heart did then melt into the many arms fires

of Aphrodite, which I had forgot as he addressed me.

"Becalm thyself, Alexandros, for thou has slumbered a

Long, deep sweet and soundless sleep, and now is time

To waken."

At his words Phobos swept upon me,

"Thou calls me Alexandros, but Alexandros is unknown to me.

If this be so then Thanatos did come for me."

I drew away from him unwilling to bear this knowledge and

Wandered alone over vales of pale beauty.

"Child, wipe thy tears," the voice turned me.

"The duty of Kings is never easy and  
>you a child of Achilles house, a swift runner had shot like<br>a flaming star from your Father's bow out upon the world

And it shook under your hand.

But now the crown is replaced with a gentler garland."

And then greatly solemn of regal, yet tragic mien  
>a Shade, of greatest stature, his robes adorned still<br>with jewels of every gleam that held the rich scent  
>of myrrh, cassia and sandalwood upon his person,<br>showed himself to me.

"Thou Phantom, I do know!" I cried aloud  
>"Thou were my greatest foe, Great King Darius."<p>

We fell to one another a weeping, I joyful to see him  
>at peace restored to his beauty and he glad, he said<br>that now we could seek out one another as friend, not  
>rivaling foe.<p>

I gazed about me and saw then Shades of others gathered  
>before me.<br>With cries and paeans of elation they sought me with hands  
>that fell upon my person with joy, calling me still<br>dearest to them, their basiliskos, and wished joy to me.

Then by and by more I knew, spry and hardy, Lysimachus,

My Phoenix and he brought me before my dear father,

Phillip Peleus.

'Now," I thought shedding happy tears, 'Such promise is fulfilled.'

When I felt my father's strong arms about me,

Holding me as he had when I was a child at his

Feet, playing at Ares games and dreaming of answering

Achilles and Herakles' immortal call.

IV._** Alexandros' is Reunited with Hephaistion**_

There, among friends, and comrades dear

my Soul still yearned and I cast my eyes about seeking

that one Shade whose shining form recalled to me a great

loss that though I stood in my father's embrace,

I cried as though I were cast forever into darkness.

There, little by little, I came back to myself

Discontently still, for though I tried I could not

Recall the Shade who most radiant stood before me.

I began to rend my garments in anguish when a hand stilled me,

Then as I sought the light in his eyes,

with such a gentle sweetness my breast he pressed with his hand

And there flew such a myriad of memory that I was confounded

And struck with such grief and elation that I fell upon his

Neck and pressed my hands upon him.

And then my eyes remembered it all.

And clasping him to me my heart replied in ecstasy,

"Thou are my Hephaistion, the flame

That lights my Soul!"

To which he cried in joyfulness,

"Thou has at last come to me Alexandros!"

Held fast in his embrace our tears mingled

And brought forth beneath our feet

flowers of violet that threw forth vines

that followed us with the joy of

our rejoicing evermore.

**_Finis_**


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